The Plan: Get up early. Walk (25 min) to Amy's place. Paint her bathroom and her bed (coat 1) go to coffee house, sit. Paint her bathroom and her bed (coat 2). Leave.
Leaving Apartment Take 1: Overslept. Looked at the key to Amy's place. Walked (25 min) in the snow and rain to Amy's house. Remembered I didn't actually pick up the key after looking at it. Looked at the door. Walked (25 min) back home, snow and rain. Picked up key. Blew nose.
(Somewhere in here I panic, convinced I have locked myself out. 30 seconds later, I find my keys..)
Leaving Apartment Take 2: Walked (25 min) back to Amy's place, tried key in side door. Tried key in front door. Tried key to the left. Tried key to the right. Tried keys thusly at both entrance locations at both deadbolt and doorknob venues. Looked at the door. Called Amy. Waited (25 min) outside for Amy so she could let me in. Painted bathroom, painted bed (coat 1). Ate. Painted bathroom (coat 1.5) ran out of paint. Left.
Moisturized hands. Will continue moisturizing hands until the end of time.
Went to catch the 77 to class. Dropped my remaining $1.50 USD into the bus slot for it to take me about seven minutes down the road and then go immediately out of service. Walked ten feet towards Arlington (still in Cambridge, with Somerville separating us- easily 40 minute walk). Stared at the silent dead bus, betrayed. Walked twenty feet towards my apartment. Stopped. Stared back at Arlington. Watched another 77 drive by. Pawed at empty pockets. Visualized the stack of quarters sitting on my dresser. 15 minutes to make a 40 minute walk. Walked home.
(Richard told me to watch out for the North Cambridge 77.. and that if I ask the magical bus wizard he will give me a special piece of a tree that will allow me to get on another 77.. free!! hee hee!!)
The phrase "tomorrow is another day" sounds menacing.
Conversation between me and my sister:
M= me
E= her
"Koala bears are actually pretty mean, yuhnno?" -m
"Well, they're only up for what? two hours out of the day? I'd be mean too if I was constantly 'just waking up'" -e
"I can see that." -m
A small pause while we continue walking.
"I didn't realize they slept that long. Maybe that's like, where they live, you know? Like, that's their life? when they're sleeping? And like, when they're awake their life gets interrupted and they get mad?" -m
There is a pause during which, I am certain she is speechless, awestruck by my tree-dweller-shattering revelation.
"...are you stoned?" -e
Conversation between me and my dad:
M=me
D=him
"You sound a little tapped up, seems like you need to ground yourself some. When was the last time you meditated?" -d
"While ago.."-m
"You really should, the benefits are without limit in importance and abundance, though usually not apparent immediately." -d
"Yeah.. " -m
"It really does make a huge difference, not in the external world, but more in your internal ability to cope with the outside."-d
"Yeah.." - m
"Things will start to become clearer, you'll feel more centered, you will start to see nothing but sunshine and lollipops, the world will start to bubble and shimmer. Tom Cruise will appear to you out of the mist, floating on a cloud.." -d
"You know he only has one tooth in the middle of his mouth?" -m
"Really?" - d
I should meditate more. I should practice more. I should have myself on a chul sa chung schedule. I should have myself on a weapons schedule.
I have to find a job. I have to figure out some other technicalities that I had forgotten about that were included in the moving process.. beyond unpacking boxes and arranging furniture and whotsits.. I have to get more centered.. I should meditate more..
I think I can pin point exactly when I started to feel.. this way. Reluctant. Un Willing. Unusually Gatdamn Hardtogetgoing= UGH.
UGH began roughly three minutes after I did a whole shit load of pushups, and approximately 9 hours before I started, in ernest, to pack my Portland life into boxes. I believe the first tier of UGH started in July.. it was more like.. '...ugh' at that point.
I believe this happened last time I moved here.. I really need a job. That will sink me.. center me.. keep me from being all over the place and largely irresponsible and disorganized with my time..
Painting day 2: No late start. No phony key. Finished bed and bathroom. For those of you that know me, it shouldn't be that hard to imagine my crawling around on the walls trying to bend into those hard to reach places, listening to Madonna's Immaculate Collection. I was not singing into the paint brushes.. swear. More like singing to the light fixtures..
Maybe I'll go on another hunt for a jade bracelet. I don't know why I've always done this-- or why I'm mentioning it here.. maybe because if for some reason I don't come back at least the two people who read this will be able to accurately engrave my tombstone "she died looking for a jade bracelet."
Haiku for you:
Humidifier.
Go ahead, say it again;
Humidifier.
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