Sunday, January 2, 2011

2010: Not at all like Arthur imagined.

I used to ask people if they could shoot something out of their hands what it would be. Like one thing out of one hand and something else out of the other. I got a lot of fun and interesting answers. I found that most of the manager/boss figures of this stage in my life would say something like "lightening" which seemed fitting- likening many of them, not unfairly, to Emperor Palpatine. My last manager, I don't think I asked this question to, I don't think she would have said lightening, though. I'm sure my current manager would say something different. I have decided that he's alright in my book- and later on I may tell you why.

I haven't asked anyone this question in a while, instead eventually inquiring of only my closest acquaintances what superhero power they would have if they were allowed to choose one. Any superhero power. Many people say flight or invisibility. Some vie for the domestic tasks made so simple in many of the Harry Potter books; "Ahlah-kah-make-dinner!!"

I'd probably want to fly.

I'd want to fly or be able to summon, as the magnificent Wile E. Coyote (Genius) is able, signs of varying size and content.

I can tell something weird is up at work when my manager uses my real name. I have earned the nickname (I would say "at no fault of my own" but I can't..) "crazy hands". I am also called, no more frequently, "ninja," both of these by my manager, who, it turns out, doesn't actually suck. Weird. This first name, I'm certain, comes from my herding dog tendencies of getting myself into trouble if I'm not given enough to do. Anyone who has worked with me/spent enough time with me will tend to agree.

Examples:

An envelope full of haikus about unpacking the shipping, poetry made by pocket charms with one or two words on them, drawings of dinosaurs done with my left hand secreted away at my previous job.

Man, made out of small pieces of meat and toothpicks at different previous job.

Pillow, dressed up as my friend Dantarr and left to sit on his couch to greet him when I woke up early to go home after staying the night during a snow storm.

To scale model of the Sphinx made out of sugar cubes at another previous job.

Finally, sometimes, when walking down the street with friends I like to play this game where I kick the persons feet in mid step so they walk funny. Dantarr thwarts these atempts by just slowing his gait and stopping when he suspects this is about to happen. This can be just as fun. Not Shawn gets around it by trying to aggressively step on my feet when I do it, I don't enjoy this. I lost myself once and almost tried it when walking down the street with Mr. F.. seeing my life flash before me, I opted not to.

..I realize that I am not a shining example of maturity.

The second name, "ninja" I'm guessing is because I fancy myself a martial artist sometimes. I'm also pretty good at hide and seek, which he has no real way of knowing. Also, once I made a dashing escape from my fathers basement using their laundry chute (I accidentally locked myself down there in a snow storm with no one home.. ).

So. "Crazy Hands" or "Ninja" is what I answer to at work. Sometimes its the "Crafty Ninja," but not always (it's a craft store, get it? hyuck hyuck.. ).

I heard my name from around the corner one day. My real name.

Squinty eyes.

"Mmmmyess..?"

"If we are still friends? Next Halloween?" he is speaking like a very excited child, "Can we go as Ren? and Stimpy?"

I give him a nod I reserve for "special" occasions.

This job is the "normal person" part of my day.

But what's normal?






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