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Yesterday I exercised a herculean amount of self restraint so as not to leap up from the dentists chair after one of the technicians accidentally dumped a full cup of water squarely into my lap. They are very brave when they've got all those power tools in your mouth, I'll tell you.

Back on the Tufts Dental Clinic Diet again. So much for having a pair of pants that fit me.

Memory:
Study hall with Madame Ward, high school. I am sitting at my desk, the afternoon sun is coming through the window behind the head of a typical Hampden-football guy. I think his name starts with a "B" and he looks like a composite of every asshole school bully you could imagine.  He keeps saying something, over and over again, dropping the same phrase randomly and mostly to himself. It takes me a minute to figure out what it is. He is saying it in a slightly menacing way, again and again, to himself while holding a conversation with a few other students:

"I don't know your Christ." over and over again. There is something familiar about it. I finally realize he is quoting something I know, but incorrectly. I believe he is confused. At length I decide it would be in poor taste to interrupt the footballer and his friends to inform him of the correct lyric. Quiet art students generally don't plow into football-conversation with "Fuck your God, your Lord, and your Christ."

Memory:
I am walking through a parking lot, watching a man in a large pick-up squeeze his truck into a too-small space. He ends up mostly crooked. As he comes out of the vehicle he eyeballs his work, slams the door and says to himself but loud enough for me to hear: "Ah! Good enough!"

I look at the side of his truck, which is from landscaping company. It reads: "Joe's Landscaping: Where Details Count!"

Conversation with McTruckerton:

Me:know anything about high hamstring tendonitis?
Trev:
inflammation of the tendons
rest and releasing the tight muscles around the affected area
usually at the area of insertion or Orgin
(of the muscle)

Me:like wolverine.oh.not like wolverine.
Trev:yes
always like wolverine
Me:ah. mostly like wolverine.
Trev:a more accurate assessment
Me:agreed.
Trev:what happens to be the deal?
I am a bit drunk so
fair warning
Me:i expect to get the clearest information out of you when you're drunk. I'm not concerned.
Trev:you are wise to think this
Me:Have you seen this fucking gangnam style video?!?!??!?!??!?
Trev:several times
did it hurt you?
Me:i saw it when I was on an airplane.
the volume was down.
Trev:did it hurt you in the stringy hams?

Me:
i was SO CONFUSED.
no. I don't want you to say that anymore.

Trev:
I make no promises

Me:
target just assaulted me with the information that it is selling furbies

Trev:
have you watched it with volume
The key board is like a labyrinth full of napalm

Me:
uh. once.. because my mom and sister were talking about this nuts korean video they'd seen.. and it was the same one.

Trev:
hard to navigate safely
it's a fun video


Me:
think of it like whack-a-mole.
.. the keyboard.

Trev:
what if my hamer is missing?

Me:
you use your crazy sausage fingers.

Trev:
I have fine fingers
like a 17th century pianist.
or a refined lady
or a dwarf

Me:
a refined lady with meat-hooks for hands.

Trev:
that is a really distressing image
my dreams are in dire jeopardy.
What is happening?
in the hamstrings?

Me:
you'll be fine.. just DON'T think of Alex Trebek dressed like a 17th century lady with meat hooks for hands..
oh.. i don't know. they hurt.

Trev:
why....why would you do that

Me:
sharing is caring.

Trev:
I have showed you the rolling out?
the myofasical release?
spelled wronf

Me:
I've ordered a foam roller. for other things.

Trev:
g
good, get a soft ball

Me:
you mean tennis ball.

Trev:
want to skype tomorrow, I can show you a secret
nope
big ball
ladies use it

Me:
STOP RIGHT THERE

Trev:
to play "liars base ball"perfect timing
and I meant "secrets"

Me:
uh sure. 2pm? I'm busy earlier in the day.

Trev:
there are several for healthy happy hamstringssounds good

Me:
so you meant to say "I can show you a secrets"

Trev:
send me a message when you get up.
as a reminder
.....
yes

Me:
sounds good to me. I will send you reminders.

Trev:
great!
I should probably sleep...

Me:
yes. go be drunk with Alex and his broken piano.

Trev:
from the horrible meat hook hands

Me:
certainly not from the skirts.

Trev:
why do you do these things?
I can see it in my head
yet
Alex seems happy

Me:
it's better this way.

Trev:
I can't wait to tell you my dreams tomorrow. Good night my friend!

Me:
niiigghhtt!!!