and we all shine on.

There will always be this: it will be the middle of the night when I can't sleep- and for some reason I MUST find out why Marilyn Manson gained so much weight in 2009.

I'm fairly optimistic sometimes. It's foolish.

I've been thinking a lot about John Lennon lately. Sensitive.

J visits and tells me I'm distant- it usually takes me a good 20-24 hours to get used to having him around when it's been so long between visits. Work, meeting, work. We get a few hours together anyway.. toss the baseball back and forth. Talk. Sit. Lean. Sigh.

I've been thinking a lot about knees lately.

Memory:

Bolero.

.